Services

Let our professional consultants

Kidnap you in the dead of night and take you to a land more fantastic than any you’ve ever seen

Better

Awaken within you a deep love of barking like a dog, running through grassy fields, and howling at the moon

Faster

Melt away your humanity, leaving behind only your most primal instincts.

Stronger

Available For Consulting

As long as it happens in the shadows

We are an agency. You are a client. We have come to regard this most sacred of relationships as legit. Totally legit. Reach out to us for help when the moon is full, the night is young, and your heart is dark.